Homemade Pop Tarts

I think most people under the age of 30 love Pop Tarts, or have loved them at some point in the past. But if you're like Mr. Scrimp and me, that love has been tainted by your knowledge of how absolutely terrible they are for you--am I right? (You don't need to answer that; I know I'm right)

Pop Tarts, for me, have always fallen into that heartbreaking category of "processed foods that are impossible to make at home," along with Ecto-cooler, Little Debbie Oatmeal Cakes, and Eggo waffles. Let's just face it, people. Some foods are delicious because they are full of horrifying chemicals. And, probably thanks to their vividly colored fillings, neon sprinkles, and tooth-aching sweetness, I just always assumed Pop Tarts were one of those things.

Proof that I was wrong?

Enter the Los Angeles Times (really) and their recipe for homemade Pop Tarts--oh wait, I mean toaster pastries, because convention demands we lie to ourselves and pretend that toaster pastries that aren't Pop Tarts are still worth eating.

Are they Pop Tarts? Technically no. Stupendous Man refuses to eat store-bought organic toaster pastries and although I know he'd try these, I doubt I'd be able to manufacture something that tastes like a perfect replica to him, primarily because there are only one or two situations in which I will willingly use corn syrup and as for the rest of the crazy things they put into Pop Tarts, I don't even know how to pronounce half of those ingredients, let alone where the home cook might buy them.

Still, a toaster pastry that I can fill with my own homemade jams or jellies? Or frangipane? Or Nutella? A Nutella-filled pop tart!! You have my ear, L.A. Times. I am definitely going to give this recipe a try, and I am just going to try and ignore the fact that each one has nearly 500 calories in it. I sleep through breakfast and skip lunch on many Saturdays, making this a totally acceptable weekend breakfast because shut up.

So it might not be healthy in terms of calories, but I'd rather sit down and split a single, chemical-free homemade, Nutella-filled pop tart with Mr. Scrimp any day than stock my pantry with brand-name cancer pastries.